I saw a picture the other day on a wall that I found helpful. It had two columns comparing Successful people to Unsuccessful people. These are not gospel truths, but are true in many ways and apply to all of us whether in the church, the marketplace, or home-life as leaders who shape and influence others around us:

Successful People: Read everyday / Unsuccessful People: Watch TV every day

Successful People: Compliment / Unsuccessful People: Criticize

Successful People: Embrace change / Unsuccessful People: Fear change

Successful People: Forgive others / Unsuccessful People: Hold a grudge

Successful People: Talk about ideas / Unsuccessful People: Talk about people

Successful People: Continuously learn / Unsuccessful People: Think they know it all

Successful People: Accept responsibility / Unsuccessful People: Blame others for their failure

Successful People: Have a sense of gratitude / Unsuccessful People: Have a sense of entitlement

Successful People: Set goals and develop life plans / Unsuccessful People: Just go with the flow

So: evaluate yourself (not others) on how you are doing in these areas. I know I can get better at all of them.