Leadership guru Bobb Biehl points out the following advice which has helped me immensely in my life:

“A mature person asks good questions. Maturity is putting process between opportunity and decision. For example: The immature person gets the opportunity to buy a car. The person selling the car says, “Hey, how do you like my Jaguar?” The immature buyer says, “I like it! I’ll buy it!” There’s no process between the opportunity to buy it and the decision to buy it. A mature person says, “I like your Jaguar, may I ask you a few questions? How many miles does it have on it? What are you asking for it? Has it ever been in an accident?” This person asks a few questions that put process between an opportunity to buy something and a decision to buy something. Maturity is putting process between opportunity and decision” (Bobb Biehl, “Focusing by Asking”)

Leader. Don’t say ‘yes’ to every idea and every opportunity you are offered in life. Ask good questions. Prioritize your values and what you are trying to accomplish at this stage in your life, ministry, business, etc., and only say ‘yes’ to things that revolve around those priorities (with margin for interruption of course!). And whatever you say yes to – put it through a process. That’s maturity.

I have a group of trusted people that help me make the big – and often small – decisions in my life. Everything from vacations, to speaking opportunities, to which boards to sit on. All great opportunities, but not all wise to pursue. These are not decisions I make lightly or in a vacuum, but slowly, prayerfully and with the input of others.

Without a process that includes others and good questions, you’ll end up doing a hundred things poorly, making ill-informed decisions that are driven by gut feelings and whims rather a few things really well informed by a vision for your life.

Not every opportunity is worth taking. Take a breath. Don’t be afraid to ask some big questions, and get people around you to help you navigate the bridge between opportunity and decision.

That’s the essence of maturity.